Captain Kate Pryde is the Life of the Party [X-ual Healing 11-20-19] – Bleeding Cool News

Posted in Tattoo Nightmares on Dec 02, 2019

Recaps of three X-Books as Marvel continues to ramp up its X-Men publishing schedule: Marauders #2, Excalibur #2, and Deadpool #1.

With the holidays and everything, I didnt get a chance to complete last weeks X-ual Healing. As a result, Im publishing it today, along with this weeks so there will be exactly as many X-ual Healing columns today as Wolverine has dicks.

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but thanks to a corporate merger and a line-wide relaunch, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.

MARAUDERS #2 DXSEP190784(W) Gerry Duggan (A) Matteo Lolli (CA) Russell DautermanThe Hellfire Trading Company has control of Mutant trade on the seas but that doesnt mean its Inner Circle is done stabbing one another in the back. As Captain Pryde and her Marauders sail on, the real cutthroats are back homeRated T+In Shops: Nov 20, 2019SRP: $3.99

In typical Dawn of X fashion, the issue starts out with a full-page government email about Krakoan nautical ventures, which is as we all know the most exciting way to kick off a comic. After that, Emma Frost meets with the Cuckoos to discuss female solidarity before showing up at Sebastian Shaws house to taunt him over financial difficulties while revealing she has someone in mind for the role of Red Queen (and the third spot on the Krakoan Quiet Council): Kate Pryde. Kate and her crew of Marauders is currently busy battling Batroc the Leaper and some nameless thugs in order to sink a ship of mutant drugs Shaw was attempting to smuggle to the black market for profit rather than delivering it to people who need it. Kate and her drunken band of mutant pirates (but mostly Kate) kick everyones ass and sink the ship.

Afterward, they head for shore leave in Tapei, where they meet Bishop, who informs them of Xaviers assassination in X-Force #1. So the Marauders head to a tattoo shop while Kate chugs whiskey, makes out with the tattoo artist, and steals his coat while Pyro gets a face tattoo. Then Gateway shows up and teleports them to their swanky new yacht (bought with comics piracy money?). Kate heads to the Hellfire Club meeting and introduces herself as the new Red Queen, to the shock and dismay of Shaw, who was right in the middle of choking out Emma. The issue ends with an org chart of the Hellfire Club and its three monarchs, with the title of Lord Imperial still vacant.

Well, Marauders is certainly a different take, whatever you may think of it. Ive seen some criticism (as well as some support) of Kate Prydes ongoing bender, but if nothing else, watching this team of mutants having a running party on a boat while engaging in disruptive super-heroics amidst political intrigue is enjoyable in a way similar to an MTV reality show crossed with Game of Thrones, and Im down for it as long as Marvel keeps it going. That may not be everyones cup of tea, but its definitely mine. I love a good, trashy reality show.

EXCALIBUR #2 DXSEP190781(W) Tini Howard (A) Marcus To (CA) Mahmud AsrarBetsy Braddock is Captain Britain, but a citizen of Krakoa. With Rogues condition a mystery, the team heads to the one place that has always been the seat of Excaliburs power the Lighthouse.Rated T+In Shops: Nov 20, 2019SRP: $3.99

The issues opens with a flashback to way back in the day, with Apocalypse allowing some of his followers, Druids, to die on a sea voyage. He doesnt help, but decides to honor their memory by making the location of their departure special. Its the site of Excaliburs old lighthouse. At sea, Kate Pryde is currently giving Captain Britain (the former Psylocke), Jubilee, Gambit, and Rogue (who is currently in a naked Krakoa coma) to that very location. Gambit is worried about Rogue and Jubilee is worried about leaving Shogo behind on Krakoa. But theyre attacked by Selkies, who are apparently evil Scottish mermaids, sent by Morgan le Fay. They escape onto land, where the Selkies cant follow. The lighthouse isnt there, but a bunch of druids only Psylocke can see are. They show her a vision of Marianna Stern and decide that Betsy makes a fine Captain Britain, so they let Roguekoa grow a new lighthouse on the sacred spot, with Rogue as the light. Everyone goes to sleep, but Jubilee has a nightmare about Apocalypse babysitting Shogo, so she takes a portal back to Krakoa and brings him to the lighthouse. Betsy also has a dream, where a flaming wolf leads her to a statue of Apocalypse with the words He will use us. We can use him. engraved on it.

The next morning, the druids come back to officially sanction Betsy as Captain Britain, but Coven Akkaba attacks. Apocalypse shows up and tells the rest of Excalibur that they need to head to Weirdworld to stop Morgan le Fay, and that he will stay behind with Roguehouse and defend the area. The team objects, but before they know it, theyre through a portal and Shogo is either missing or turned into a giant dragon its not entirely clear.

I love the pacing of this book. Events progress quickly, things arent overly-explained, and it feels less formulaic than most superhero comics. This issue had the team feel like they were constantly on the run, starting on a boat, fleeing the boat due to mermaid attack, setting up a new lighthouse, being invaded, jumping to another dimension and ending on a cliffhanger. The characters dont have time to rest and get their wits about them, and neither does the reader.

DEADPOOL #1SEP190835(W) Kelly Thompson (A) Wayne Faucher, Al Vey, Jaime Mendoza, John Livesay, Victor Olazaba (A/CA) Chris Bachalo, Tim TownsendDeadpools newest mercenary job has him going after the King of Monsters, who has claimed a new kingdom for his monstrous subjectson Staten Island! But you know what they say, when you come at the king, you better not miss! The Merc with a Mouth finds himself neck deep in political intrigue, monster law, and a monster hunter out for blood! Its like The Crown but with even more swords and monsters! Can Deadpools smooth charisma and deft diplomacy allow him to keep his head, or will he be royally screwed?Parental AdvisoryIn Shops: Nov 20, 2019SRP: $4.99

Its Deadpools birthday, so he holds a party for himself, eating takeout food and kidnapping his mailman for a party guest. Deadpool is then hired by a man named Blaylock to kill the King of the Monsters, who has made a legal claim to Staten Island and has begun moving all his subjects there. Deadpool reveals of this in a flashback while he heals from getting ripped in half by said King of the Monsters. Hes chatting with Bellus, Lord Chamberlain to the King, who doesnt want to stop Deadpool from killing the new King because he doesnt like Staten Island (no one does). Elsa Bloodstone shows up, also there to kill the King of the Monsters (its her job). Time for a team-up.

It doesnt go well at first, but the King bites off Deadpools arm, which contained a bunch of grenades, and he blows up. Elsa shields Deadpool from the explosion, causing him to believe she has a thing for him. It might be true. After the dust has settled, Bellus declares Deadpool the new King of the Monsters. Hes immediately put to work, holding court and greeting his new knights, whose names Im not going to bother typing until we see if they stick around for a few issues. Deadpool deals with some kingly business, getting a sea monster to stop attacking ferries lest it attracts the attention of the Avengers. Deadpool is going to have to figure out how to get the economy working for these monsters.

Gwenpool shows up and gives Deadpool her pet from West Coast Avengers, Jeff the Land Shark. Gwen is afraid its not safe for Jeff to stay with her because her books keep getting canceled. Deadpool, Jeff, and Bellus celebrate Deadpools belated birthday with some ice cream. Later that night, Bellus is murdered by Kraven the Hunter.

As far as Deadpool comics though, this was more tolerable than many. Deadpool is a character that annoys everyone around him, but he shouldnt annoy the reader, and thats a fine line to walk. Thus far, this new series is pulling it off, and introducing a pretty drastic status quo change for Deadpool (bigger than the last one, which ostensibly wiped his memories but put him in the same sort of situations as usual and ended up revisiting those lost memories anyway), which helps. My only question is: will it be acknowledged that the original Kraven is dead (see the Hunted arc in Amazing Spider-Man) and the new Kraven is his son? Also: Jeff the Land Shark!

Never let it be said that Im incapable of changing my mind. The first round of Dawn of X, I though Excalibur was the best book, but going head to head with Marauders this week, I have to admit I enjoyed it slightly more. Excalibur was still great, dont get me wrong, but the Wolverines Weiner X-Pick of the Week award isnt about artistic achievement, its about providing the reader with the satisfying sensation of a crispy, greasy weiner on a hot Summer day, and thats definitely Marauders this week. Congratulations to the creative team.

Past winners:

If youve been following along, Ive been advocating for a theory, created back in 2013, that Wolverine has two dicks, one for f**king and one for making love. It makes people very mad for some reason, which of course just makes it funnier for those of you with the discerning taste to appreciate such things. You can read the theory explained in full here, and followed up on here. And I have got a doozy of a follow-up planned for the near future. Gonna blow the lid right off this thing.

As noted earlier, a second edition of X-ual Healing will be out later today, so check back until it does. Seriously, keep refreshing the page, we love the clicks.

Read moreX-ual Healinghere:

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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Captain Kate Pryde is the Life of the Party [X-ual Healing 11-20-19] - Bleeding Cool News

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